Written By: Gianna L. Harris
I stepped on the scale... I was 20 pounds over my goal weight! My first reaction was to lose weight as quickly as possible! Okay?! So many people noticed my weight gain, which was always complimented!
Since I was in middle school, I’ve struggled with my weight. I was either too fat or too skinny. There were always other voices in my life to combat my thought. No matter what they said, I didn’t believe them. Looking back, it was more than the weight. It was about self-love and self-acceptance.
So what is self-love? Webster (2019) defines self-love as, “an appreciation of one's worth or virtue.” I realized I was struggling with self-love when I was set on losing weight and it would not happen. I sat with myself and thought about why that was my first action. I decided to go on a self-love journey, which included purging things and shopping! It was not easy. However, I knew no matter what the scale said, I would still be dissatisfied with myself if I didn't love myself fully.
So many of us struggle with self-love. Most people like to think that this is just a problem that women have! I’ve learned that this is NOT true at all. However, it may be masked differently! From weight to height, to skin color, blemishes, inability to forgive, past mistakes, anything! People can always find something they dislike about themselves.
Most of us feel “unpretty” based on the voices in our lives. These voices may be the media, peers, or even family members! Most of the time, the voice is our own! We destroy ourselves and sometimes project that on to others; we’ll save that topic for a later date! Our minimal self-love does not allow us to see the beauty in our creation. It may hinder us to make unwise decisions based on how we view and live ourselves.
As my journey continues, I wanted to share some questions I posed to myself. Review the questions, leave a comment below if anything resonates with you. Have you had challenges with self-love?
Self-Love Journey Questions
What do you see when you look in the mirror? The things you’re unhappy about, things you don’t accept, your unforgivable past?
Where do these negative thoughts or lack of self-love come from? What is your earliest memory of not having adequate self-love?
What is your biggest hindrance to self-love?
What do you like about yourself? What is your favorite attribute(s)?
What are you complimented on the most by others? Do you believe the compliments? Why or why not?
Before anyone else can love you, you have to love yourself. You have to believe you are worthy of love. That love should begin with you loving yourself. When you begin to love yourself, you begin to set appropriate standards and boundaries with others.
Webster, M. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-love